One of my favorite, but relatively unknown quotes, has to do with respect.   “To receive it, you must deliver it.” This is clearly just stating that if you want other people to respect you then you have to be certain to respect them as well.  It is one of many derivatives of the golden rule.

This quote played a special role in starting my morning off in a very moving way. I was walking from the train station to my work building and crossing underneath the same bridge and taking the same path that I always take to get to work.  There are just a few homeless people that occupy what I call “home stations” along the route, and some days I interact with them, some days I don’t.

Today, I didn’t really have any choice but to interact with the man who was setting out some tarps and layering flannel for a bed underneath the bridge.  He has a large green tarp going across the width of the sidewalk.  I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I knew that most people would likely just cross the street and not have to worry about interacting with the man, but I decided to do otherwise.  I don’t alwyas sympathize with homeless individuals, but I do always show them as much respect as they show me.

So, I approached the man in stride and posed a question to him.

I have to get to the otherside of your tarp. Is it okay if I roll over it?

The man stops layering the sheets of his make-shift bed and squarely looks me square in the eyes.  I actually began to panic – he had no emotion on his face and hadn’t said a single word. He stared at me for a good 15 seconds and I begna to consider if I should just book it out of there. But…there were people around. What was the worst that could happen? I kind of get lost in my thoughts for a moment, before he speaks.

Every single worker that’s crossed under this bridge today has just stepped right on my mat.  It’s my favorite mat – I lay it out to dry cause I spilled some water inside it and it froze on there. So I had to let it out to the sun.  But you, man, you actually askin’ me if you can roll over my tarp? Ain’t no one respect homeless people like that. That’s my property but don’t nobody care. I’m just happy you asked me man…you go on.

The above ‘quote’ really is more of a paraphrase of what the man explained to me over the course of about 90 seconds. I thanked him, told him I appreciated his remarks, and was on my way.  As soon as I sat down at my desk, my eyes got a little watery. I’m not an emotional person, but really – what moves a stranger to confide so much emotion in another stranger? What kind of plight may you be facing to share something that is obviously so important to you with anyone who is willing to listen?

It just goes to show that in your everyday life, you never know what kind of dilemma, circumstance, or trouble another person may be facing. So it’s always important to be aware of their ontologies and potential experiences before you judge, assume, or make decisions about them or their actions.  I could have just as easily been like every other person that just stepped right on this man’s tarp, but I mean…that’s rude. Homeless people should really be called people without homes – you have to put the PERSON first.  Because before he is homeless, he is first a human being, and I believe that all human beings should be respected.  I encourage you to respect others if you wish to be respected.

A few days ago, I was leaving my parent’s house to head out to dinner with a friend from school – it was on New Year’s Eve, actually.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am always…always…always… uh, not right on time. So I was kind of in a frenzy, trying to NOT be supet late.  I live in a very cookie-cutter neighborhood that is extremely suburbia, so my neighbors and I often park on the streets, in lieu of the driveway, because the road is so wide.

As I was approaching my truck on the street, I saw a dark shadow on the other side of the street, getting out of their car. As I got closer, I hear my name.

Is that Justin Graves?

Uh, what? I was a little spooked.  BUT, turns out it’s an old classmate of mine from high school. Margaret and I always were good pals in high school, but never really stayed in touch past graduation.  She went to UVA and I went to VT (let’s be real, I would never be friends with anyone who goes to UVA), and we just ended up in different places. I always remembered her though, her sense of humor was always spot on and even though are personalities were VERY different on the surface, we always got along pretty well.

We stopped for a few moments and chatted as she walked to my across-the-street-nieghbor Nicole’s home, but I confessed that I was in a rush and that we would have to connect some other time.  I was less than five minutes down the road to my destination before I thought to shoot her an apology text – I felt kind of rude. Unfortunately there was no Margaret by her name in my phone so I added it to my to do list – FIND MARGARET! haha

So when I got home that evening, I made a Facebook post in an attempt to find her cell phone number. Yes, reason number everything that having an expansive social network is fantastic.  I just wanted to reach out and let her know how much I enjoyed seeing her – she always had such a positive energy that I try to emulate – it’s contagious.  2 minutes later, I had 2 inbox messages with her number in it. So I wrote her,

Hey Margaret it’s jgraves! Just wanted to text and say I really do hope you’re doing well! Sorry I was in such a rush and couldn’t stop to chat! :) (:

Since that text on the night of Jan. 1, she and I have messaged gone back and forth, catching up and chatting about what we’re doing now, where we think life is leading us next, so it’s just interesting to see what an old friend is up to like 7 or 8 years after first meeting them! But most fascinating to me was a text she sent me a few days ago, out of the blue.

Also, I was just thinking if you ever want to ski, massanutten has a really cool adaptive ski program…

I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted it here but a few months back I had consulted some friends, also via Facebook, about any potential adaptive skiing options that were local.  It was originally a goal that I had planned for this present winter, but with Kristin’s accident I got a little distracted.  But a lot of friends recommended Snowshoe, and vouched for it having actually been there and friends with disabilities having been involved in their adaptive ski program. The amount of detail that Margaret gave me about Masanutten’s program sounds very interesting. They offer full courses, where you can graduate through varying degrees of difficulty. The coolest part about this program seems to be that it would also be with like-aged people, and there is the potential of being able to ski 100% on my own – which I never imagined.  I always thought it would be watered down in some way (see this review of an episode of a favorite show of mine, Push Girls).

For anyone who is also interested and would like more information about the program, visit Therapeutic Adventure’s website! Of course I’ll be sure to update the blog as I continue to look more into this. I think I’m going to aim for next winter, since I won’t necessarily be working full-time and might spend a week doing this instead! Would be another great thing to cross off my bucket list, along with hiking the Cascades, learning how to swim, and going water tubing. Margaret also told me about some funding options/scholarships & junk that they offer too! Snow tubing and snow skiing, here I come!

I think this just goes to show that you never know how a random, unexpected deed can bring good karma go back around to you – a la, what goes around comes back around. Now, I don’t mean that in the sense that “Oh, I ran into an old friend, let’s see what she can do for me.” That wasn’t my intent whatsoever. I simply wanted to reconnect – I love knowing what makes people tick, what they’ve been up to, etc. It’s the reason that I’m working on another blog post called “Traditions with Old Friends,” that talks about the group of people that I ensure that I see EVERY single time I come home – because friends are friends.  I think that the word is friend is something permanent.  It’s not something that evaporates, erodes, or goes away.  Just that genuine caring, i.e. trying to meet one ‘new’ person each day, assisted me in happening upon this fantastic opportunity.

Keep that in mind, my friends. Get out there. Meet people. Don’t expect things in return, but then again – you never know.