One of my favorite, but relatively unknown quotes, has to do with respect. “To receive it, you must deliver it.” This is clearly just stating that if you want other people to respect you then you have to be certain to respect them as well. It is one of many derivatives of the golden rule.
This quote played a special role in starting my morning off in a very moving way. I was walking from the train station to my work building and crossing underneath the same bridge and taking the same path that I always take to get to work. There are just a few homeless people that occupy what I call “home stations” along the route, and some days I interact with them, some days I don’t.
Today, I didn’t really have any choice but to interact with the man who was setting out some tarps and layering flannel for a bed underneath the bridge. He has a large green tarp going across the width of the sidewalk. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I knew that most people would likely just cross the street and not have to worry about interacting with the man, but I decided to do otherwise. I don’t alwyas sympathize with homeless individuals, but I do always show them as much respect as they show me.
So, I approached the man in stride and posed a question to him.
I have to get to the otherside of your tarp. Is it okay if I roll over it?
The man stops layering the sheets of his make-shift bed and squarely looks me square in the eyes. I actually began to panic – he had no emotion on his face and hadn’t said a single word. He stared at me for a good 15 seconds and I begna to consider if I should just book it out of there. But…there were people around. What was the worst that could happen? I kind of get lost in my thoughts for a moment, before he speaks.
Every single worker that’s crossed under this bridge today has just stepped right on my mat. It’s my favorite mat – I lay it out to dry cause I spilled some water inside it and it froze on there. So I had to let it out to the sun. But you, man, you actually askin’ me if you can roll over my tarp? Ain’t no one respect homeless people like that. That’s my property but don’t nobody care. I’m just happy you asked me man…you go on.
The above ‘quote’ really is more of a paraphrase of what the man explained to me over the course of about 90 seconds. I thanked him, told him I appreciated his remarks, and was on my way. As soon as I sat down at my desk, my eyes got a little watery. I’m not an emotional person, but really – what moves a stranger to confide so much emotion in another stranger? What kind of plight may you be facing to share something that is obviously so important to you with anyone who is willing to listen?
It just goes to show that in your everyday life, you never know what kind of dilemma, circumstance, or trouble another person may be facing. So it’s always important to be aware of their ontologies and potential experiences before you judge, assume, or make decisions about them or their actions. I could have just as easily been like every other person that just stepped right on this man’s tarp, but I mean…that’s rude. Homeless people should really be called people without homes – you have to put the PERSON first. Because before he is homeless, he is first a human being, and I believe that all human beings should be respected. I encourage you to respect others if you wish to be respected.