I’ve always said that the point behind keeping a blog, a good blog at least, is to NOT go a long time without updating it. I promise – it’s never my intention to take such a long hiatus. And as that hiatus is being had, I feel bad, it’s like a little rain cloud just following me around because I want to put new content on the site!
Poor Eeyore!
For the post, today, though – as I’m about to quickly run out of the door – I wanted to shrae two really great quotes. One I encountered earlier today, and the other had driven me through what was a pretty long and tiring week! The first, which I saw on my Facebook newsfeed from an old friend:
“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why.” by Mark Twain
That quote is so strong and so powerful – no more important than the day you entered this Earth is the day you really realize what it is you’re supposed to be doing on it. And what if that happens multiple times? I know it happens for me, often. And every single time I feel just a superhuman amount of encouragement to keep going. Thanks for sharing, Erin!
The second is a little less direct. I have heard many derivatives of it over the past few months but I first heard it from Dr. Patty Perillo, the Vice President of Student Affairs, back in August when we were sharing conversation just a few days before the first day of classes. She shared with me,
“Isn’t it awesome when your passion just really meets the world needs?” by Patty Perillo
I was really enamored by this quote so I, later, googled it to see if there was any originator. There are many types of it – one is more religious, which talks about your vocation happens when your passion meets the world’s need, or your calling happens when your passion meets the world’s need, but I really do like the word awesome so that’s the one I’m going to stick with.
As per usual, I’m going to end my post with a challenge – take a moment in thought, as I do everyday, and think about something that you did or will do today that really met someone else’s need. Not their wants, but their needs. Whenever I’m lucky enough to have that perspective, I suddenly am able to tap into another little piece of energy that helps to keep pushing me toward doing what I want – one interaction at a time.
In the coming days and weeks, I’m going to try and be much more diligent about updating this. I am going to use my phone’s iOS WordPress app a lot more, so I probably won’t be able to be as anal about formatting and what not as I prefer to be, but I’ve gotten quite a bit of feedback about the fact that there’s been too much time in between posts so…give a little, get a little. :)
Well anyone who knows me knows this is kind of breaking the bro-code of my blog, but I just had to.
Tonight, I was having dinner with students and supervisors from my event planning practicum at a local brewhaus, Bull and Bones. Right next door, there is a spot called On a Whim that sells these pretzels.
If you follow the blog faithfully then you know I have already talked about the pretzel ones before but these pretzels are just that damn good!! I haven’t tried the white chocolate or Christmas tree ones just yet, but Im going to break into the Christmas tree ones tomorrow. Apparently there are chocolate mint flavored.
The best part is that the chocolate mint ones were severely on sale – sixty percent off – making them only a little more than three dollars per bag. If you’re interested, I would definitely recommend checking them out. There is only one more bag of the pumpkin ones left in the whole store!!
Today my professor, Frank Shushok, blew my mind. He’s one of my favorite colleagues from a mentorship perspective, and has been a great friend of mine since I realized how much I loved higher education and the university environment years ago. After a group presentation in class today, he shared a book with us. When he walked into class, I noticed he had each of the course’s books (three), and then an extra one. Frank reads a ton and one of the books he required for this course this year was actually one that I read based on recommendation from the Vice President for student Affairs at VT last semester. So, not only was I excited to be ahead of the game in reading, I realized that Frank’s reading taste was great (which I also realized from spending much time in his office aka personal library).
So he was talking about a book by man named Robert Kegan, called Immunity to Change. Although I’ve never read it, you can assume what the gist of the book is – providing effective ways to sustain change in people or organizations who aren’t necessarily willing to do so. One point I’ve heard, in the past, about Kegan’s work is that he was interested in, psychologically, why people won’t change when it would help them be better and when the stakes are high. For example, what if you were told to stop smoking because the second hand smoke was killing those in your community? Would you care enough? Would you do it? What kind of things would you change?
Shushok went on to talk about New Years Resolutions (which I called goals, per a previous blog post). About how people will start, immediately on January 1, to implement strategies that they think will help them change. Frank said that one thing he’d like to change about himself is stop being late to various places. That caught my attention and brought me in even deeper than I already was.
It’s important to me to be liked. One of the faulty belief systems that I have in my desire to be liked is for people to not feel like I don’t have time for them. So, until I deal with that reality about myself, I’m not ever going to be on time, one hundred percent of the time.
Frank was talking about how he will often squeeze people onto his calendar when he doesn’t actually have time. He’s a busy man by nature of his job, and I am a busy man by nature of my job(s) and roles as I play as a graduate student as well. So that really caught my eye.
He related it to us in how we see people all the time who are interacting in the college or university out of their own dysfunction because they are operating on the level of “I’m late,” and “I can’t figure out why I’m late all the time.” Frank, like me, would much rather stop and engage in conversation with someone than keep moving along toward an appointment that he is supposed to be at, because he wants them to like him – I mean, would you like me if I told you I didn’t have time for you?
This was a very short synopsis of a 400 page book, and an even shorter synopsis of a lot of what Frank shared with us about his perspectives, but I connected with it so strongly. It spoke to me in the truest way (and let’s be real, I’m not going to read all 400 pages before I graduate in May 2014). One of my New Years Goals, literally, was to be late less often. I used to have all clocks and watches set 10 minutes fast – I stopped that. I used to wake up earlier – I hit snooze less often now. I’m trying many different strategies but I agree that unless I get to the root of the problem – always wanting to stop and talk to every single person, or whatever it is – I probably won’t be on time, all of the time.
A lot of people have asked me why I am wearing so much red, white, and blue today. Instead of just sharing the story with them, I wanted to share it with all of you. And it’s not just because I am patriotic (even though I love America :) ).
I have never met Ben before, but he is an employee at Dining Services at Virginia Tech. Anyone who knows me knows that since my girlfriend isn’t living with me right now (I really only ever went grocery shopping when she was around, because she actually enjoys cooking and eating at home for simple meals) I literally haven’t gone full-on grocery shopping in months. That’s because the amount of time I spend in the kitchen magnifies because she likes to cook, and I love to join her. But that’s neither here nor there.
I eat on campus ALL of the time, so seeing as I love campus food, I had to give a shout out to Ben!
I received this announcement over the Division of Student Affairs list serv, and it was also on a table card in the dining halls. Had to share. I hope you all enjoy and will root Ben on in his final race today!
I’m always really impressed by people who keep in touch the way I keep in touch. I’m always really impressed, also, by people who take the same to say thank you, even when a thank you isn’t expected. As always, this post will also center around a pretty prominent theme in my life: what goes around comes around.
I don’t mean those things to sound elitist in any way. I’ve explained this scenario to people many times. It happens a lot in college: you are walking across campus, and you see an old friend that you haven’t seen in a bit of time. You spend a few minutes catching up with them, and then you incorporate a meal (cause everyone’s gotta eat right?!): LET’S GET LUNCH TOGETHER SOON!
Freshman year, I realized that a lot of people would say this to me and I would return the favor by saying the same thing. Go ahead, though – ask me how many times I actually meant that. Why would I say and/or suggest something I don’t mean? Kind of ridiculous.
So from then on I made a point to always be intentional and meaningful when I suggest we get together. I diligently put their name into my phone, and at the end of the day I take their name off my to do list and put it in to my calendar a few weeks forward. I’ll do this with friends here at school, and friends back at “home” in Fredericksburg. So, yes, sometimes it can be weeks and months off into the future. But I love the expression that most people share when they think I’ve forgotten – they are always so surprised that I’m even suggesting we get together!
For example, tonight a good friend of mine named Carter and I had dinner at West End Market, a dining hall on campus. I ran into Carter while socializing over the weekend, and I told him – hey let’s get together sometime! Carter and I reached out to each other and planned a dinner date in rare form – so quick, only three days later! It was great catching up with Carter – he and I met over two years ago and we clicked soon after meeting each other, even though we were never in the same social circle. It was fantastic to talk about the past few months of our lives and look forward to the next few.
Another good friend of mine, Brian, just sent me a random e-mail this evening:
Hey man! How has your semester started off this year? I saw your post about the Kairos Society and Mrs. Obama’s office, sounds awesome and looks like you’re doing well. I hope you had a good break.”
Nice. Simple. Short. But so meaningful. Just three quick, yet genuine, lines to let someone else know that your’e caring/thinking about them. I think that’s one of the most Actively Caring actions you can make in my opinion. It doesn’t have to always be something in person or something tangible, it can be as small as words. Thank you, Brian.
And ironically enough, six minutes later I received an e-mail from a fellow Hokie Ambassador alum, named Leigh Ann:
Justin,
Not sure if you remember me or not, but I was a fellow Hokie Ambassador and graduated in 2011. I read the story about your trip to see the Cascades and was so amazed, and the pictures online were great. I’m so happy for you and you obviously you had an amazing group of friends accompanying you.
I just want to let you know that you are an inspiration to many people and I know you have made an impact on so many Hokies. I am honored that I had the opportunity to work with you has a Hokie Ambassador and was able to share that with you. You truly embody everything about being Hokie and Virginia Tech is blessed to have you representing it. Unfortunately, too often people neglect to thank others and show appreciation, and I was so inspired not only by this story, but by everything you have done during your time at Tech for the school, that I wanted to let you know.
I wish you the best of luck in continuing your studies at Tech. Us Hokies are lucky to have you.
Leigh Ann’s message moved me in a way that compliments always do. I just live my life the way I always have – I’ve been blessed to have great people around me. I have great friends, an amazing family, and a beyond incredibly strong girlfriend that, yes, give me the strength to keep on trucking along. I realize that literally every single day. Leigh Ann’s message reminded me of that and of the fact that I am so confident and empowered in this community to help others. Even though she is no longer here…she’s still one of those friends that are incredible. I’m sure I’m not the only one that she goes out of her way to show that she appreciates them. I love that. Thank you, Leigh Ann.
I’ll be completely honest – I am very lucky in the sense that such great messages usually come on a night when I’ve had a rough day or haven’t been able to get as much done as I’d like. But today was very productive. I cleaned the house, I went to the car wash, made it to the store, cleaned my wheelchair, finished ALL of my work BEFORE classes (even reading!), made great headway on some spreadsheets for work (GA), and am even ahead in a few classes. The only real thing on my to do list for tonight, now, is to pack for Hokie Day. BUT – these people may or may not know it (well, they do now!) but they give me the energy to keep going to touch even more people, meet more new people, and let even more people know that I’M thinking about THEM, let even more people know I am thankful for them.
Last, you might ask – “what about the theme of what goes around comes around?”
In an office I work in on campus, there is a woman named Peni who I see maybe once a month. However, Peni always goes out of her way to make sure our entire office is prepared for any silly weather that may be coming our way. Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a weather checker.
I think karma is real. I think the psychology behind recognizing positive actions is even MORE real. The data shows it. Experiences show it too: I took just a few minutes to thank Peni this afternoon, and it came back around – double time.
Just sayin’…try it out.
I had a special request to see Charlotte on the blog so here she is! Woke her up from her (typical) evening nap and all. :)My beautiful pup, Charlotte Petre-Graves. She is a five-year-old Beagle-Hound mix. Her birthday is coming up on Saturday, February 2nd!
Next blog will probably be from Hokie Day – I’m gonna go get to packing!
Well, if you didn’t catch the Lil Wayne reference in the subject line, that’s because you’re not nearly as familiar with Weezy as you should be. It’s also in anticipation of me reuniting with one of my very best college friends this week, Ari, during a trip to Richmond for Hokie Day.
The first week of classes is officially over! Since we enjoyed the Martin Luther King holiday on Monday of last week, with no classes, we didn’t begin until Tuesday. This semester I am taking 12 credit hours. My courses are named College & University Administration, Assessment in Higher Education (Seminar), and the College Student and the College Environment. I am taking a fourth course called “practicum” where I am working a 10 hour/week internship in the Event Planning Office in Student Centers and Activities. This is going to be a fun semester. Add the above time commitments to my two graduate assistantships (McNair Scholars and the Office of Recruitment and Diversity Initiatives for the Graduate School) and I’ve got a VERY full plate!
I apologize for not updating the blog as diligently as I did over Winter Break but, truth be told, the same exact thing happened at the beginning of the Fall 2012 Semester as well. You start getting all of your syllabi, and spending a lot of time deciding when office hours and what not will be, and you really just loose track of time! This is why I have sat down to give one big, overview blog update with a few highlights from the first week of class, and will share what I’m looking forward to in the second week.
This upcoming week is somewhat of a shortened week for me because I will be spending Wednesday and Thursday in Richmond, Virginia lobbying to the general assembly on an issue that is very important to me: higher education funding in the state of Virginia. I have blogged about Hokie Day in the past, but if you’re not familiar with what Hokie Day is feel free to use the search box to the left side of this post, and you can go back and search old blog posts.
Finding out the getting mail from the post man is kind of like living in a time capsule, but it’s the best possible time capsule that you could ever experience, at least for me right now.
Realizing that my classes, while time-committing, will not be AS academically vigorous with what feels like hundreds of papers all semester – this semester, it will just feel like dozens!
Spending a fantastic weekend easing back into Blacksburg with a lot of friends, some old and some new
Looking forward to in the second week…
Hokie Day! And, basically, Richmond in general. It’s one of my favorite cities.
The SUPER BOWL (I’m hopping onto the Baltimore Ravens bandwagon for this one, they are my mom’s favorite team and an old friend from high school plays wide receiver for them)!!
As I will spend a lot of time in the next few days preparing for and at Hokie Day, don’t expect any real updates, but until then…I hope you all have a great week, and find time to discover what are your own personal highlights/what you are grateful for everyday.
And P.S., I could never, EVER forget about you. You know who you are.
Not a lot makes me cry. Not because I’m some big manly man – I don’t get into all that. I get tears in my eyes a lot. But it takes a lot to really move me to tears. Watch this video, and I have a feeling you’ll understand what I mean. In the true spirit of teamwork, service, love, commitment to your loved ones, a passion to help someone…I don’t think I need to even give this an introduction. I’m just going to let it stand alone.
