It has been almost three weeks since I have been able to sit down and really update my blog! It really grinds my gears because I think that’s the point of any blog; frequent, interesting updates, and I’ve slacked at that lately. Of course the Twitter updates <—- over there are helpful but nothing like really being able to sit down and hash out a fresh update. Anyways, let me tell you: I am so happy to be back to a normal schedule! There has been SO much going on in the past few weeks.
The grind that is Graduate School is NO joke, especially when the end of the semester is coming to a head. Between wrapping up two Graduate Assistantships, a separate spring practicum internship, finishing up all four classes, many group projects – including TWO that had their own unforeseen circumstances – and just trying not to lose your sanity is tough. Couple that with trying to connect with as many peers and friends before they leave, staying on top of everything at home, and trying to confirm your plans for the coming summer months…I’m pooped! Luckily this past week has not been as crazy. It’s still been busy, but it’s a lot different when you are making your own schedule, and other aren’t doing so for you. So I appreciate that.
My plans for this summer are enjoyably flexible, as I am working a few different internships, traveling, presenting, and enjoying a lot of down time. I’ve definitely embraced this as my last summer before I’m thrust into the work world and I hope to take advantage of not only relaxing but also a ton of professional development. I’m beyond excited for these next few months which will be pretty different than any past summer. It is my plan – and I WILL be successful – to keep the blog updated much more. I’m going to really get into using the iOS WordPress app that’s installed on my iPad and iPhone which will allow for, hopefully, quicker and less time intensive updates.
I have had SEVERAL photos on my desktop for the past month or so that I have wanted to put onto the blog, so I’m going to spend the next few days working on that. This week, I’m just hanging out in Blacksburg, tying up some loose ends as I get ready to head to Fredericksburg for the last half of the week. More on what’s going on there in a later post.
These reactions remind me of exactly why college is such a fantastic place and, especially in my time working for Undergraduate Admissions. I don’t think that higher education is for EVERYONE at every time (and, in fact, I think the below video should be edited to say that every ONE deserves these moments, not just every KID) but the amazing reactions these people have when they receive their acceptance letters…amazing.
The importance of relationships, friendships, and making bonds with other people in an effort to be happy is important to me. I just wanted to write that there so that I can come back to it and continue to unpack it for myself. It’s times like this that I wish comments were more popular on the ol’ blog. But if you read this, and you’re moved by the following quote, leave it.
This is simply a synthesis of thoughts that are only partially my own but that I have discovered to be true, and will certainly be my inspiration as I move through the next couple of weeks.
Have a great week, everyone!
Resiliency is holding onto a goal and not moving away from it. Remember, above everything, that perseverance conquers all.
“Write down your dreams, bury them, and you will see them grow and grow.”
Tereai Trent
Some of the very best opportunities I have on a daily basis HAPPEN to me. That sounds somewhat (and uncharacteristically)passive, doesn’t it? Well, I believe it to be true and I also am encouraged to believe that they happen to me by virtue of existing in a university environment – the number of opportunities I’m afforded here are numerous and I am grateful for them. I also postulate that just by virtue of being optimistic – by believing that things will get better – I lead a pretty advantageous and blessed life. BUT. What about if you lose that optimism? What about when hope isn’t so easy to come by?
This morning I had the opportunity to attend a presentation by Dr. Shane Lopez. He spoke about “hope” which, I have admit, I initially felt would be kind of fluffy, utopian, and unrealistic. But the practical examples he explained really resonated with me today and encouraged me to do one of my favorite things: think. I decided to explore how we can apply some of these ideas to our everyday lives.
MINDSET
Dr. Lopez began, “some of the most hopeful people in the world are realistic people. They see the obstacles and yet they plan for them. Positive emotions can really buffer us against the ills of the world and they do an amazing job at it.” Having a growth mindset in this sense is paramount to the likelihood of success, in my opinion. And I don’t think it is ironic that many of the people Shane has worked with are psychologists, including himself. The outset of any event or activity is about your perception and what you are dreaming may happen. One of my favorite quotes in life is by Henry Ford – “Whether you think you can or you think you cant; you’re probably right.” Having faced the challenges that I have in life, I truly believe that if you dream negatively, your results are more likely to be negative. Adversely if you think positively and, well, have hope then your results are more likely to be that positive, dreamt-of outcome. Bury them (your dreams) and they will grow.
ALTRUISM
He continued that “students are motivated by what we have to offer” – and I would even argue that people are motivated by what you have to offer as an individual in every setting. Now, does that mean that you must have a nice car to drive your friends around in, a nice home to have gatherings in, or anything else materialistic? No. I firmly believe that you absolutely must offer people positivity. EVERYONE can do this. And this should even be offered to even those you don’t ACTUALLY interact with. Sharing a smile with a random passer-by, taking the time to do a small favor for a stranger – this optimism and compassion in everyday society can spark hope in others and most certainly is a form of positivity.
LIFE GOALS AND THE FUTURE
When Gallup went around and surveyed people about what makes them most happy and what they wanted most out of life, their top two answers were to have a good job (i.e. loving how you spend most of your time) and to have a happy family (i.e. loving who you spend that other time with). My career is important to me, which is second to having a solid, happy family, and if I were polled then I would agree. But how do you arrive at those two goals? Here’s how: set those goals (whatever they may be) and DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS, as Catholic campus minister Father John suggested in one of his questions to Dr. Lopez. Hopeful people measure against themselves – “How I can beat my yesterday self? How can my tomorrow self be better than my today self?” Shane said. Say hello to YOUR future.
Click the photo to enlarge and take in the four points Shane presents here, especially taking the future for a test drive.
Shane shared a great website called www.futureme.org. It allows you to send an email (letter) to your future self and set goals for where you want to be and I think that is SO cool! What do you want from yourself? What is your own personal benchmark? Invest in yourself. Exercise more; you’ll have more energy ater. Make more meaningful relationships; you’ll have more to rely on later. Rely on people who you can believe in. Make the best you for the future. Now, it’s also important to “have a healthy respect for your past and be engaged in the present (mindful),” but be futuristic at the same time.
The point is: Investing in your future (now) pays off today.
Investing is so important. Shane showed this video with us; Jerry Seinfield couldn’t quite get it right. “From how much do you study, to much do you save, how much do you exercise, everything can have an impact on the future you,” Shane said.
STUDENTS
As a person who is a student to life and always will be, and in a profession where you always focused on students, I find myself taking advantage of much of the advice that is directed toward students because, afer all – I AM ONE, TOO!
Shane’s focus on students was quite obvious, but it wasn’t what he said that really resonated with me it was what he asked and actually didn’t quite answer: How do we get our students to tell us the stories that. Comprise their dream, and also encourage them to edit it along the way? As I encourage the students I work with to develop and edit their own dream, how am I editing mine? Am I focusing on my future self?
Shane referenced the difference in focus that individuals have at different stages in their lives, postulating that you begin your life as a youngster with relationship goals, then you transition into making achievement-related goals for your live, and then you settle back to making relationship-goals. But I think, why can’t you always be focused on making those relationship-based goals? Doesn’t everything else fall into place?
With that, I am so thankful to the Division of Student Affairs for setting this event up. Over the course of the past two weeks, all of this has REALLY resonated with me and I’m excited to actually practice all of the behavior above. This post is going into my bookmarked just like my “Goals of 2013” blog post.
I’ve got to run so I can’t finish this right now, but check back later this weekend and I’ll round out the other notes I have below, along with notes from dinner with Shane tonight. For more in the meantime, check out this Time article on Dr. Lopez and Hope that I found via Twitter this morning. Thanks for reading!
Other Notes & Photos
Do more of what you do best everyday – your strengths. That results in you being more hopeful and more engaged.
How to personalize education
Top: strengths, hope, personal well being, and happy family
Bottom: strengths, engagement, academic success, good job
-personal well being drives your academic success. Then you can start giving that away
-these ideas are interconnected at every level
-meaningful work “vs.” meaningful relationships
Learning by traveling – will the son be happier when I picked him up than when I dropped him off? Happiness for children is the number one need or want that we have for our children.
Think about the most influential leader in life
Think about what they gave you – they probably gave you hope
Stability trust compassion and hope are the four things that followers need (getting moire into leadership) . You have to ensure that your leaders are enthusiastic about the future. “Follower engagement soars when leaders make them enthusiastic about the future.”
It’s all about increasing the quantity and the quality of Actively Caring for People.
Last week, this great 4 minute audio clip came on NPR and although I missed it of course I went back and found the archived piece. Robbie is a great reporter whom I’ve had the chance to work with in the past, and for this piece she interview Dr. Scott Geller, the mind behind Actively Caring.
Just today I had the opportunity to go speak to the Sigma Alpha Lambda Honors organization about how they can get involved in AC4P. Just last week I was at the Change the World Symposium, put on by the JMU Society of Entrepreneurs, telling them about the importance of recognizing those around them for their positive actions.
Hearing this piece just reminded me of the importance of spreading the spirit of this movement. it’s not just about the green wristbands – it’s about changing a culture. Amazing.
In a land far, far away – a state named Hawaii – exists this amazing, AMAZING sweet bread. I certainly must credit some pretty amazing ladies in my life for introducing me to it. First, my sister bought some from the local grocery store back in high school. Then, Julianne started eating it like it was water. Then, I introduced it to Kristin, and she showed me how easy it was to get COUPONS for it.
Today, I got home and this was patiently waiting in my mailbox. It came straight from their headquarters (I looked it up)! I’m surprised someone didn’t steal it! Sometimes KH will e-mail brands that we like to request coupons and make a little bit of savings; more often than not they will just send you some. FOR FREE!
If I only I didn’t want to break my own rule of not opening other’s mail. Sighs on sighs on sighs. Only time will tell what the contents of said package are…
Only in this household do we receive LARGE packages from food providers shipping us free things…just a little SMH going on here.
Dasha shamlessly approached me, and asked me, “Are you Justin Graves?” Of course I said yes and I immediately was panicked – I couldn’t pick her face out of a line up, couldn’t attach a name to her eyes, and I couldn’t remember if we had met or not. Turns out Dasha wanted to be, and I am so happy she was, the one new person that I met that day.
I had never met Dasha before but she wanted to make sure that I knew who she was. While I was already very impressed by Dasha’s many accomplishments during her time at Virginia Tech, she was so…modest. And humble. I already knew that Dasha was her customary Russian nickname, as announced by Dr. Patty Perillo earlier in the proceedings, and how friendly she was. But I was particularly struck by her ability to immediately establish a connection with me. I was humbled and flattered myself; Dasha knew about my personal goal of meeting one new person everyday, had viewed my TEDx talk, and was actively implementing the goal herself. Talk about awesome.
Over the summer of 2012 after I graduated from college, I began to think about different ways that I could contribute to my university. As an undergraduate student those opportunities are available widely but one can assume that as you get older and more removed from the university (but only in terms of time) those opportunities must be actively sought after.
I decided to interview for a position on the Multicultural Alumni Advisory Board (MAAB) through the Virginia Tech Alumni Association. After a double interview I earned an appointment to the board and was more than ecstatic to get involved with an entity that I never did as an undergraduate – the alumni association of the university.
Myself and other members of the MAAB were invited to the Student Recognition Banquet (older article from 3 or so years back) to take part in recognizing many students who excelled in their respective areas, like Undergraduate Man of the Year, Graduate Man of the Year, Outstanding Seniors in each academic college, and the Who’s Who Nominees for the year.
Well, I write this post not because of the many awards that were bestowed upon many amazing students at Virginia Tech, but instead due to one particular student who approached me after being named the Undergraduate Woman of the Year.
Just goes to show, you never know how meeting one new person can make someone’s day.
