This summer, a lot of my close friends have been asking me about this idea of Never Eat Alone.
The story of my discovery of Never Eat Alone began almost a year ago when a friend named Brian spontaneously e-mailed me. Back in 2008, Brian and I got to know each other as Virginia Tech freshmen but we had lost touch over time, remaining connected through Facebook but our real life paths hardly crossed even though we had many mutual friends and our hometowns are neighbors.
In his e-mail on November 25, 2012, Brian shared that he wanted to try and find time to reconnect, maybe over lunch or coffee. It caught me just a little off-guard, but I said, hey, why not. I had been watching Brian, too, especially the transformative work he was doing with Fighting Gravity. While we shared that meal, Brian asked me – “have you ever heard of Never Eat Alone?” I had not. So the story begins…
I’m not much of a reader, but the book intrigued me: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. Ferrazzi’s book has the subtitle of “And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time.” I truly value great relationships, and while I don’t share meals with my friends with the ultimate goal of success, I share meals with them with the ultimate goal of connecting. After all, everyone has to eat, right? And why not take some time to engage in meaningful conversation over said meal? Ferrazzi’s book encompasses that very well; it is a great read, and something that I’ve carried with me since checking it out.
Truthfully, if your’e not looking for ideas, this book is not for you – because he provides many great ideas and points that you can easily implement into your personal and professional habits – beginning with how you think about your meals.
One of Ferrazzi’s biggest points is that it’s all about the “ask” – the idea of the invitation (also utilized by Peter Block, author of another one of my favorite books, Community). Ferrazzi talks about asking mentors for mentorship, and then paying it forward, i.e. becoming a mentor yourself someday. When it comes to these favors, you shouldn’t keep score he said and, instead, you should pay it forward. I know this resonated with me because it’s one of the founding tenets of AC4P as well.
Example. On Saturday, I took a dip over to the Farmer’s Market, just ahead of lunch with a friend named Sarah (again, not eating alone…really, it’s a trend for me). While I was at the market I ran into Michael and a new friend, Alece. I had just gone to purchase basil but saw some great peaches that were on sale, too. Obviously peaches are a great summer fruit so I picked up a few, maybe for lunch this week. I had some great conversation, got some great fresh fruit and herbs, and figured that would be that.
When I texted Michael later in the day, to see what he was up to, I suggested that we get together sometime in the near future to catch up. Michael did me one better – he suggested a potluck style dinner for the following night. I was free so, of course, I agreed! We decided to get some of our friends together to meet up at Michael’s and bond over some food. It was a fantastic time, and thank goodness everything turned out deliciously! Our menu consisted of mostly homemade items by yours truly: Basil-Peach Chicken, Lemon-Basil Potato Salad, Asparagus-Tomato Salad, and Near East Cous Cous. The recipes for each of these items can be found on this blog post!
Seeing as I live alone, it can be a drag, sometimes, to cook a huge meal by yourself. But at the same time, I LOVE cooking. When I’m alone, I prefer to bake since the result tends to last longer and is more shareable. But each of these dinner recipes I had been wanting to try out for a while. It was an amazing feeling to be able to share my time and energy with people who appreciate it and care. Having a meal with your friends is great but cooking (something that tastes good) for your friends is even better. :) I’ve made many-a-social-media-post about this idea of Never Eat Alone, and I hope this demystifies it for you!