TLDR — I’m going to spend in a week completely disconnected from the world, working, thinking, relaxing, and floating in the ocean and deciding what the heck to do with my life.  See you all when I get back from Bermuda next Friday!

– –

As I write, this my next birthday is 4 short days away.  September 1st is coming, and it’s coming quick. I originally sat down with the intention of recapping the past year – beginning with my last birthday, spending New Year’s Eve in San Francisco, spending a week in Las Vegas…

Well, I soon realized that would be almost impossible and I would never get to packing for an upcoming trip. So, instead, I wanted to take a few moments here to reflect on the summer that has been and why its been the summer that it has.

As a 20-something who has travelled the country, met one new person a day for years, graduated from college, (twice!), held numerous jobs and odd jobs, and met people who have taught me stories from across the globe, you’d think I would know what I want to do with my life, right?  Hah. Fat chance.

I completed graduate school this past spring and was closer, but not quite ‘there‘ just yet,  to truly deciding what it was that I was passionate about and what I wanted to spend 40 hours each week doing over the course of the next few years.  I decided to take this summer to not waste my time earning money while being miserable. Instead, I decided to take the time, no matter how broke I would become and how difficult it would be, to just figure. it. out. Internally, I called it a summer of discernment.  What I anticipated being a few weeks post-grad to clear my mind and refresh myself turned into a month.  What I thought would be a month turned into two.  And now, as it comes to a close, it’s been just a bit more than three full months that I’ve taken, more or less to myself. In the spirit of reflection…

I slowly packed up my town home…

 

…while reconnecting with and then coming to terms with leaving my 6-year home of Blacksburg…

And crossed an item off my bucket list by traveling to my first  music festival…it was amazing…

I networked in the Nation’s capital,

road tripped to Music City, visited with family I haven’t seen in years, and definitely got my fill of Heads Up! Love that game…

Spent many lazy days applying to jobs and new speaking engagements…in between floats on the river…

and garnered new and meaningful speaking engagements plus volunteering with youth with disabilities in my community, to still give me a daily purpose, help me feel like I’m making a difference and to meet someone new and  keep me productive all in between…

and, of course, also keeping in touch with the people back home who may be scattered all over the world but still find time to help keep me sane.

This summer helped me realize that when I’m doing things that I love I am able to maintain a focus on being calm, happy, and thinking about what it is that I want to get out of this world.  Even as it may relate to a working experience.  Sure, I may have been busy – but I’ll call it a “gap summer“, or: a summer of discernment.

I got the idea from one of my all-time favorite TED talks.  I’ve posted it here before, but I’ll post it again. It’s by a Wahoo clinical psychologist named Dr. Meg Jay, and her talk is titled “Why 30 is not the new 20.” Her book, The Defining Decade, is also epic.

When I watched her talk the first time, Dr. Jay’s ideas really resonated with me; especially those about creating identity capital.  I decided that 2014 was going to be an identity capital kind of year for me.  I didn’t want to grow up into a young adult and a young professional looking back at what I wish I had done and especially what I wasn’t going to be able to do in the future.  I owned the fact that, although “unemployed”, this would be the last time for the foreseeable future until retirement that I would be able to just pick up and go to a festival or sleep in for more than one day in a row.  And let me tell you – it was wonderful. I feel refreshed for the first time in years, and I’m ready to kick some butt.

So as I embark on this next, and seemingly final adventure, I feel like I’m finally meeting some discernment. I feel as if I’m going to be able to conquer what I’ve always worried about as a kid and as a college student – will I be happy? 

I finally feel as happy as I’ve ever been.  With the opportunities that are beginning to come to fruition and present themselves, I am as happy as ever.  And I know for a fact that my life will have been better for it in the long run.  Is it frustrating to have had to TIGHTLY pinch pennies and spend many nights in thinking, reading, wondering, exploring? Meh. It sort of was.  But, most importantly, I feel like I’ve gained that identity capital, I feel like I’ve discerned what I truly want out of life, and I plan to continue to monitor and adjust and fine-tune all of these things so that I can remain the best version of me possible. Whether it’s through consistent professional development, self-improvement, or all of the above, it’s necessary.  Because after all, how can you spread joy to the rest of the world if you aren’t even happy yourself?

There will be some big announcements and even bigger decisions will be coming with the month of September. Stay tuned. In a week. Until then…

…as we get ready to take on William & Mary this weekend…Go Hokies!