“Write down your dreams, bury them, and you will see them grow and grow.”

Tereai Trent

Some of the very best opportunities I have on a daily basis HAPPEN to me. That sounds somewhat (and uncharacteristically) passive, doesn’t it? Well, I believe it to be true and I also am encouraged to believe that they happen to me by virtue of existing in a university environment – the number of opportunities I’m afforded here are numerous and I am grateful for them. I also postulate that just by virtue of being optimistic – by believing that things will get better – I lead a pretty advantageous and blessed life. BUT. What about if you lose that optimism? What about when hope isn’t so easy to come by?

This morning I had the opportunity to attend a presentation by Dr. Shane Lopez. He spoke about “hope” which, I have admit, I initially felt would be kind of fluffy, utopian, and unrealistic. But the practical examples he explained really resonated with me today and encouraged me to do one of my favorite things: think. I decided to explore how we can apply some of these ideas to our everyday lives.

MINDSET

Dr. Lopez began, “some of the most hopeful people in the world are realistic people. They see the obstacles and yet they plan for them. Positive emotions can really buffer us against the ills of the world and they do an amazing job at it.” Having a growth mindset  in this sense is paramount to the likelihood of success, in my opinion. And I don’t think it is ironic that many of the people Shane has worked with are psychologists, including himself. The outset of any event or activity is about your perception and what you are dreaming may happen. One of my favorite quotes in life is by Henry Ford – “Whether you think you can or you think you cant; you’re probably right.” Having faced the challenges that I have in life, I truly believe that if you dream negatively, your results are more likely to be negative. Adversely if you think positively and, well, have hope then your results are more likely to be that positive, dreamt-of outcome. Bury them (your dreams) and they will grow.

ALTRUISM

He continued that “students are motivated by what we have to offer” – and I would even argue that people are motivated by what you have to offer as an individual in every setting. Now, does that mean that you must have a nice car to drive your friends around in, a nice home to have gatherings in, or anything else materialistic? No. I firmly believe that you absolutely must offer people positivity. EVERYONE can do this.  And this should even be offered to even those you don’t ACTUALLY interact with. Sharing a smile with a random passer-by, taking the time to do a small favor for a stranger – this optimism and compassion in everyday society can spark hope in others and most certainly is a form of positivity.

LIFE GOALS AND THE FUTURE

When Gallup went around and surveyed people about what makes them most happy and what they wanted most out of life, their top two answers were to have a good job (i.e. loving how you spend most of your time) and to have a happy family (i.e. loving who you spend that other time with). My career is important to me, which is second to having a solid, happy family, and if I were polled then I would agree. But how do you arrive at those two goals? Here’s how: set those goals (whatever they may be) and DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS, as Catholic campus minister Father John suggested in one of his questions to Dr. Lopez. Hopeful people measure against themselves – “How I can beat my yesterday self? How can my tomorrow self be better than my today self?” Shane said. Say hello to YOUR future.

Shane shared a great website called www.futureme.org. It allows you to send an email (letter) to your future self and set goals for where you want to be and I think that is SO cool! What do you want from yourself? What is your own personal benchmark? Invest in yourself. Exercise more; you’ll have more energy ater. Make more meaningful relationships; you’ll have more to rely on later. Rely on people who you can believe in. Make the best you for the future. Now, it’s also important to “have a healthy respect for your past and be engaged in the present (mindful),” but be futuristic at the same time.

Investing is so important.  Shane showed this video with us; Jerry Seinfield couldn’t quite get it right. “From how much do you study, to much do you save, how much do you exercise, everything can have an impact on the future you,” Shane said.

STUDENTS

As a person who is a student to life and always will be, and in a profession where you always focused on students, I find myself taking advantage of much of the advice that is directed toward students because, afer all – I AM ONE, TOO!

Shane’s focus on students was quite obvious, but it wasn’t what he said that really resonated with me it was what he asked and actually didn’t quite answer: How do we get our students to tell us the stories that. Comprise their dream, and also encourage them to edit it along the way? As I encourage the students I work with to develop and edit their own dream, how am I editing mine? Am I focusing on my future self?

Shane referenced the difference in focus that individuals have at different stages in their lives, postulating that you begin your life as a youngster with relationship goals, then you transition into making achievement-related goals for your live, and then you settle back to making relationship-goals. But I think, why can’t you always be focused on making those relationship-based goals? Doesn’t everything else fall into place?

With that, I am so thankful to the Division of Student Affairs for setting this event up.  Over the course of the past two weeks, all of this has REALLY resonated with me and I’m excited to actually practice all of the behavior above. This post is going into my bookmarked just like my “Goals of 2013” blog post.

I’ve got to run so I can’t finish this right now, but check back later this weekend and I’ll round out the other notes I have below, along with notes from dinner with Shane tonight. For more in the meantime, check out this Time article on Dr. Lopez and Hope that I found via Twitter this morning. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

Other Notes & Photos

Do more of what you do best everyday – your strengths. That results in you being more hopeful and more engaged.

How to personalize education
Top: strengths, hope, personal well being, and happy family
Bottom: strengths, engagement, academic success, good job
-personal well being drives your academic success. Then you can start giving that away
-these ideas are interconnected at every level
-meaningful work “vs.” meaningful relationships

Learning by traveling – will the son be happier when I picked him up than when I dropped him off? Happiness for children is the number one need or want that we have for our children.

Think about the most influential leader in life
Think about what they gave you – they probably gave you hope

Stability trust compassion and hope are the four things that followers need (getting moire into leadership) . You have to ensure that your leaders are enthusiastic about the future. “Follower engagement soars when leaders make them enthusiastic about the future.”